War and Peace......

"Before the bombs start to fall again...
I have a few minutes in seclusion which i shall dedicate to writing to my near and dear ones.....
Who knows when the next opportunity may arise....
Who knows if i ever may get a chance to say the things to them that should never be left unsaid....
In the shadow of the night.....
As the explosions shake us to our very core ...
Dark thoughts arise....
But every night we make it through....
We grow closer to the end....
Maybe the enemy will give up and leave us alone.....
But to give into complacency would be the end....
For in war there is no defeat....
Only the symphony of victory....
Or the silence of death!!!"

What Condition My Condition Was In.....

Sigh....

I seem to be going through the equivalent of Menopause or whatever u women get....
Mood swings and wat not...
I hate this...
Chemical Locha as one of my friends put it....
Actually i did but ya.....Whateva...

This place is a bundle of contradictions....
One sec u could be fighting and out to kill a guy...
Next sec that guy comes and acts like ur best friend....
go figure....

I dunno really sumtimes wat to expect and think anymore...
The expression numb comes to mind....
But ya....
thats like a few stages behind me....


weird.....Messsed up....
Depressed one sec.....
happy the other.....

Hell wen u dont know wat to expect from ur closest friends....
Wats there to think anymore...

I need a break seriously....

Cya when i'm in a better mood....
Or when this Chemical Locha passes.....

Sigh and u F***heads...
I don't want a jaddo ki jhapi or any such crap....

Thank u....
Come again...

A picture of you..........

An experiment....
A thought....
A dream....
A new poem...
Call it whatever you will....
But here it is...

A picture is All i have left,
And i bear it open for all to see........

____________________________________________________________________

A Picture....

When i look in the mirror,
All i can see is a picture,
When i look in my eyes,
All i can see is a picture......

A picture is all i have,
In my mind and in my soul,
A picture of you with me,
Is all thats left for me........

All alone i feel for the first time,
But i realize i always was lonely,
I was living putting all my happiness on a picture,
A picture of you beside me......

Nothing makes sense anymore,
I search for you everywhere i know,
But I know I won't find you,
All I'll ever have of you, is this picture......

Were those times real or a dream,
Did I really live them or did i imagine those fields,
I think i might have been crazy.....that time with you an illusion,
But then there is this picture, And it seems so real.....

Who are you? Where did you come from?
Why were you here? Why did u meet me?
Why did we spend time together? Why did we lie in each others arms under the sun?
If you were going to disappear? And all i have left is this picture.....

All i have left is a picture,
A picture is all i have,
A picture of her in my mind,
It wont leave me alone, It won't go away........

A picture of you in my arms,
A picture of you with me,
A picture of the queen of my Dreams,
The world thinks I'm crazy, but i know this picture is real....

Everywhere i look i see this picture,
A picture of you with me,
In this existence it's all i have left,
My life dedicated to a picture, A picture of you with me.....


- Aiman
___________________________________________________________

Jabse yeh Gaana....Mene din ko.......Sunaa re.......

Saawariya.......Oh ho oho.....
Saawariya.......Oh ho Oho.....
Saaaaaaawwaaaaaariyaaaaaa............


*Sigh*
Yes....
Now that the requisite groan at the start of every blog entry is out of the way.....
Though the groan might be caused by the horrifying music.....
Lets get down to business......


First up is change.....
No....Not the coins as in South Park Night of living Homeless....
Though if you do come across some change then....
"Change?"
..................................................................................................
*Ahem*
Yes...Back on track then.....
I remember myself a few months back.....
Lets make it about 6 months shall we........
There was once a time i ran from the limelight....
Where i was happier out of the attention....Didn't give a fig about politics or power......
(lol....Anyone who's been to high school will know what i'm talking about)
I was happy with my few friends.......No work!!!
And my heavenly headbanging collection of music.....

But now....
*Sigh*
Here I am Mr.Popular (not to blow my own horn....But yeah....)
Everyone knows me.....Everyone wants me to be with them.....
I'm considered the smartest guy in my batch.....
Which i might be......But....
Lol...
I mean....
They expect me to top????
I mean.... I don't study!!!
Hell....I never have......
And me top???
Sheesh!!!

Got so much responsibility....
But this all wouldn't be such a problem on its own.....


But coupled with the fact that well.....
It's all so different.....

Change...

Sigh...

From Hard Rock to Bollywood Pop...
I kid u not......I got a 2gb collection to argue with you....
This change in music may not be that important to some....
But to me..

Well yeah...
Its wat keeps me sane....Cools me down......
AND NOW...
It just seems so weird....

But u know....
u can't change them....
So u gotta join them.....
Plus chicks tend to dig a guy with 170 songs on his....
And well....
If 80 of those are Hindi.....
Nevermind......
In Rome... Do as the Romans do......
(Thats is if you want to do the Romans too...... ;) if u know at i mean......)

Well anyways....
I dunno wat else to whine about....
Lets headbang i guesss....
Chow....


Teri Aankhen Bhool Bhulaiya...
Bateen hai Bhool Bhulaiya.....
....................................................................................

My life..... At present.....

Ever heard Crazy Town's drowning....
It so aptly describes my state of mind...
Sigh.....


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"Drowning"

Everything is so complex
Everyday is like a test full of obstacles
That seem almost impossible

And I’m thinking just another breath not a minute left.
How long have I been drifting?

Pass the glass pint hit the flash light now break it.
People say I’m a star but I still think ill never make it.

And I’m thinking just another prayer not a second left.
I feel there’s something missing

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me when all the answers that I see go around me.
Am I drowning?
Am I fading away?
OR am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?

I’ve been to hell and back looking for the answers to life.
Looking at myself trying to get things right.

And I’m feeling just another breath not a minute left.
I feel the darkness lifting.

There was a time
That I questioned if Id ever be alright.
Running getting high staying trapped by sleepless nights.

And I’m thinking just another breath not a minute left.
I feel there’s something missing.

I’m running from myself and all the things I don’t like.
Living every night like it’s the last night.

And I’m thinking just another prayer not a second left.
I need to stop resisting.

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me when all the answers that I see go around me.
Am I drowning?
Am I fading away?
OR am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life

Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me when all the answers that I see go around me.
Am I drowning?
Am I fading away?
OR am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

Drowning in the drama lost in the lies trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

The dawn....Is it the start of a new day??? OR the pause before a new night????

Thinking of interesting stuff to say is such a bore....Seriously...

I always gotta appear intellectual to my audience...
Which is why writing poetry appeals to me....
Cause no matter what u write about.....
Or even if it at all is absolute crap....

People automatically go like....
Oh....HE writes poem...
HE is deep....
He's an intellectual....

(Even if the only thing ur deep in is bullshit.....But u get my point.... ;) )

So here's is a new poem....
That well i feel for me is very important...
Cause well...It stands for an important milestone...

Turning of a page....
Or Start of a new chapter....
REbirtH i call it...

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REbirtH

Its dull and cloudy outside,
But that is but a reflection to within,
Fear has eaten up my heart,
I'm losing her, the light of my dreams....

The wind batters me again,
Rain washes away at my happiness,
The fire of love that was kept burning,
Has been chocked off, by the darkness within.....

I call out to you,
Hoping you would return,
But all the sound is swallowed by the night,
And I know that she's gone.....

I can't go on like this,
When all I can feel is emptiness,
Losing my control I scream out in pain,
And the tears fall and mingle with rain.....

I'm burning,
I'm crying,
I'm screaming,
I'm flying......

I feel like a feather in the wind,
Gliding wherever I'm being taken,
A phoenix lying in the ashes,
The end of the road......

I feel this all and more,
Being bent from within,
Enough is enough,
It's time to awaken.....


In that one moment,

In that one truth,

In that one breath,

I escaped the lie......

Cause now i know within,
I don't need you or anyone else,
No matter where i find myself,
I always know who I am.....

I can now see her there standing calling out to me,
And I turn around and walk away,
I have no need to know what she needs to say,
Reborn, The stars call out to me and i walk away.....

-Aiman

Sometime....There is no brighter side....Just a side thats less darker than others...Such is life...

Sigh....Its been a while hasn't it???
Such a Lot has happened since we last spoke....
I don't even know from where to begin...
But first.....I just want to tell you......
I thought a lot about.....Did a lot of soul searching.......
Saw the direction in which this relationship is heading....
And well i guess.....We should see other people!!!
I know....I know....It seems harsh but i feel its the only way forward...
So from tomorrow onwards....Make it a point to see at least one other person that day....

Good now that its out of the way....Let us begin...

Firstly I now onwards reside in the Land of Cows....
No this is not an exaggeration.....Or a metaphor.....
I am now in a place whose name literally translates into Village of The Cows..
Welcome to Belgaum!!!

Hmmm....I had no internet for a week.....
Yes i will now proceed to repeat that casual statement in case u missed the main impact of its words.....
I had no internet for a week!!!!!!!
Now u may proceed to scream in horror!!!

College just started today...
And to tell you the truth.....I'm pleasantly surprised....In a good way!!!
Yes I am the only NRI in the batch.....
And yes there are also girls whose grasp of the English language extends to "Myself Vaijanthimalla!!!!"...

But on the other hand....

Just when you've lost hope....
When during the introductions a person gets asked which famous dead personality you'd like to meet and you hear a reply "Kurt Kobain".....
Or when you ask someone if they like english movies....And you get the reply " Yeah..Especially comedy films...My Favorites are Eurotrip and Harold and Kumar...What about you??? Seen them??"..

All of a sudden you know....Maybe you just might get through this alright....

Later Folks.....
Got to chase a couple of cows of my fields first....
Peace out!!!