Circle of Togetherness .... Part 1 of Many...

Well, it's sure been a while hasn't it. I like to write a lot but most often i face something i like to call my personal writers block. But enough of that. I always dreamt of writing something. You know something a bit more than just a few lines of poems or something. So yeah, here is my first attempt at writing something of a greater scope.

Maybe What follows isn't really worth reading or even god forbid, good! But hey that isn't gonna stop me writing anymore cause well. I have many dreams, and I guess its about time i started to do something towards them. So yeah...

What follows is my attempt for a short story or maybe not so short story and such. Maybe it isn't something resembling what I've been known to write about, but still its a story that must be told.

Hope you enjoy it and the story holds you. Leave a comment if you got anything to say. Aiman out. And it begins......

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She bursts into the lobby, anxiously looking around for another soul. Though she usually spends most of her days alone in her little studio apartment, today it's gone a little too far. Since the dawn she has been unable to see a single sign of existence outside a window. That didn't alarm her at first, but when her usual grocery girl did not answer the phone she began to get worried. She had a eerie feeling that she was alone in this world. Either that or the whole city decided to board themselves up alone at home due to some plague.

Most people would consider her a weirdo. But it wasn't their fault. If she was someone else she'd probably think herself to be a nut case. She was 25, and looked all of her young years. Maybe the male population would even dare to call her pretty, but she didn't think so herself. From the beginning she was never attracted to men. Or maybe she just hadn't met the right man. Whatever the reason may be she was always more content to lose herself in her dreams. Her canvas and easel was all that she needed to get through the day.Emotional attachment and relations could stay with the others. She had what she needed with herself.

Which led her to her present situation. Though not one to run away from public and company, she did not encourage them either. Her so called friends had long since given up on her having any social needs as such. Ice Queen, Machine and so many other nicknames were not unknown to her. But she preferred it that way, lost in her mind in that heaven of solace where she found peace. Maybe she was like those tortured geniuses of yore whose happiness lay in their art. Or maybe she just didn't care.

But try as she might, something of her present situation made a chill creep up her spine. It wasn't unknown to have quiet days in the city. But a day where one sees no pedestrians in the street? No traffic? Though disconnected from the rest of the world she might stay, the everyday hustle and bustle of the city had become part of her life. Without the cacophony of the various noises and smells of the city, it just seemed empty. And that emptiness was really beginning to trouble her. She liked to think that she could in a way sense the mood of her city, as she liked to call it. Her City. But now, all she seemed to sense was silence. Death.

Which is what finally led her to rush out of her apartment. Which is what led her to rush past the doors on her level. Listening for some sound of occupancy, some sound of existence. She couldn't knock or ring the bell cause what would she say? "Hi, I'm the neighbor who never leaves her apartment! I just wanted to stop by and see if someone was alive. Good to see you. Bye!" No. For someone seriously doubting her own complete sanity and eccentricities, something like that was completely out of the question.

And thus we return to where we began, with her bursting out of the elevator into the lobby. Though alarmed at the present crisis she was finding, she could not help but scoff at herself. How can a whole city managed to be deserted in a day? Of course her boundaries extended to her housing building and gallery but in her mind, she found it to represent a cross section of her city. And so far the only presence she could sense was she herself and her increasing state of distress. She couldn't possible be alone here, could she?

She stares out into the empty lobby stretching out ahead of her. She looks at what she remembers to be the welcoming guards table, but it lays there deserted and empty. It's been quite a while from when she had last been down here and a few changes were showing. The marble had been redone and the place was positively gleaming. She stared across to the doors outside, but all she could make out were the empty sidewalks outside. Maybe she should just step outside...You know to make sure things were alright. No, she said getting a hold of herself. I must be going crazy. I'm just overreacting that's all. I should just head back to my apartment and I'm sure this is just like a bad dream. When I wake up things will be back to normal. I'm just paranoid. Yeah, that's it.

"No. You aren't crazy you know. Neither are you being paranoid. Going outside isn't going to help anything though. There is nothing to see there after all. In fact I'd say knowing you, it would rather make things worse."

Startled out of her wits she spins around quickly to see the culprit responsible for the words spoken behind her back. Scanning the area she finally see's the shadow. There on the steps by the lift. No wonder she missed it behind her as she came running to the lobby in her hysteria. Getting a grip on herself she started to compose herself after this discovery. See, she wasn't going crazy. She wasn't alone in her city. She wasn't alone at all. And then, he spoke again.

"Well.... I wouldn't go so far as calling the only two people left in a city of over millions of people as not being alone. I mean that would be rather extreme wouldn't you say? Even for someone as paranoid as you, I think."

Shocked and slack jawed she couldn't believe what she heard. What did this person mean by the only two people in the city? How could that be possible? What did it mean by this constant refferals to knowing her. She's lived here for many years and yet she was oddly sure she didn't know and hadn't ever met anyone from here. And also, how could this shadow know what she was thinking? Maybe she was going crazy. And, though not as surprisingly this time, to seemingly shock her out of her surprise, the voice spoke again.

"As talented and gifted as I may like to think myself as, I wouldn't call mind reading one of my gifts. No I can't read your mind but I pretty much know what you are thinking still. Lets just say its a skill I gained through experience. And no, its not as impossible knowing that we haven't even met before. Not as impossible as you think, is it Lisa?"

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- Aiman

Ps.- Ignore the spelling and grammatical mistakes.... They'll be fixed some other day long time later....For now just try and immerse yourself in their world....

Filmy....So Fucking Filmy....

"It seemed just like something out of a movie.... You know....
Those old cliched deathbed scenes....
She made me hold her hands...And make a promise....
On her.... On my memories of her...
I guess being brought up in a world so centered around the world of films the lines between reality and make believe grow dim....
Filmy..
So Fucking Filmy...


So I held her hand...
And I made the promise...
I had no other choice did I...
I mean She was dying....And well....
It was her last wish....I had to.....
So I played my role... An actor in this macabre scene...
Filmy....
So fucking filmy...


I think sometimes that this may all be some cosmic joke...
The timing of this bad news and time....
All governed by some unknown force...
Just when things seem great...
I've got my job... Things seem to be becoming stable for the family...
Happiness creeping back into our lives....
The tragedy strikes...
Filmy....
So Fucking filmy...


And the promise I made?
The sacred vow I made on her deathbed to keep?
Was it a fading light's last attempt to do some good??
Or was it maybe a promise to look after those who were left behind??
No....Nothing of that sort....That'd be too normal...
No....It had to be over the top....It had to be this...
A vow "To reveal the hidden truth at last"!!!
A vow "to unveil the dark secrets kept hidden so long".....
Had to be so didn't it???
Filmy....
So fucking filmy...


Even after she passes away I'm not overtaken by grief...
I mean i feel the loss....But it doesn't over take me....
I am sad....But I don't feel the need to cry and lament....
But even so...
I can't stop the tears rolling down my face....
I can't stop my self from screaming at her funeral...
I can't stop the self pity and cries I don't really feel...
I'm just a player now....Like an actor in another scene....
Filmy...
So Fucking filmy...


A quest for revenge and justice...
Well at this point I guess it's mandatory for it to follow...
The villain must be sought out....
Misdeeds and wrongs righted....
Sigh..
I'm tired...
All I really want to do is get on with my life...
But...I don't have a choice do I....
So...I will fight...And I guess...
I will win...
Filmy....
So Fucking Filmy.... "

*Click*
*beep*

|| Stopped||
||Play back will resume from this point when played||

To be continued.....

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Filmy isn't it...
So Fucking filmy....

War Chronicles II - The Guardian Angel...

The Guardian Angel

Every night the same story,
Every day the same fog,
This war drags on and on with no end in sight,
As the soldiers caught inbetween,grow ever tired of this fight......

Every night a change in position,
Every day a false alarm,
The planes continue to fly over head,looking for a target,
We continue to try to stay hidden, running away from false hatred!

Yet my luck continues to amaze me,
How we continue to remain free,
Trapped behind enemy lines,
I start to feel like you have been present at all times.....

I remember when I got my first story,
That suicide blast on that black day in history,
Something compelled me to get off that train,
A gap of few seconds and my whole life could have been in vain....

I spoke to you that night,
When i got home after all that anarchy in sight,
You told me you were thinking of me at that moment,
That you sensed something was going to happen.....

Even after you passed away,
You seemed to affect me in many little ways,
Was it you or some freak luck I don't care,
Cause even if it wasn't you, this little lie keeps me going everyday....


Alone, A lone reporter among soldiers,
Alone, A lone woman among men,
Alone, among men of steel, I stand the only one not afraid of this war,
Cause I know I have you, My Guardian Angel, looking after me thus far....

-Aiman

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War and Peace......

"Before the bombs start to fall again...
I have a few minutes in seclusion which i shall dedicate to writing to my near and dear ones.....
Who knows when the next opportunity may arise....
Who knows if i ever may get a chance to say the things to them that should never be left unsaid....
In the shadow of the night.....
As the explosions shake us to our very core ...
Dark thoughts arise....
But every night we make it through....
We grow closer to the end....
Maybe the enemy will give up and leave us alone.....
But to give into complacency would be the end....
For in war there is no defeat....
Only the symphony of victory....
Or the silence of death!!!"

What Condition My Condition Was In.....

Sigh....

I seem to be going through the equivalent of Menopause or whatever u women get....
Mood swings and wat not...
I hate this...
Chemical Locha as one of my friends put it....
Actually i did but ya.....Whateva...

This place is a bundle of contradictions....
One sec u could be fighting and out to kill a guy...
Next sec that guy comes and acts like ur best friend....
go figure....

I dunno really sumtimes wat to expect and think anymore...
The expression numb comes to mind....
But ya....
thats like a few stages behind me....


weird.....Messsed up....
Depressed one sec.....
happy the other.....

Hell wen u dont know wat to expect from ur closest friends....
Wats there to think anymore...

I need a break seriously....

Cya when i'm in a better mood....
Or when this Chemical Locha passes.....

Sigh and u F***heads...
I don't want a jaddo ki jhapi or any such crap....

Thank u....
Come again...

A picture of you..........

An experiment....
A thought....
A dream....
A new poem...
Call it whatever you will....
But here it is...

A picture is All i have left,
And i bear it open for all to see........

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A Picture....

When i look in the mirror,
All i can see is a picture,
When i look in my eyes,
All i can see is a picture......

A picture is all i have,
In my mind and in my soul,
A picture of you with me,
Is all thats left for me........

All alone i feel for the first time,
But i realize i always was lonely,
I was living putting all my happiness on a picture,
A picture of you beside me......

Nothing makes sense anymore,
I search for you everywhere i know,
But I know I won't find you,
All I'll ever have of you, is this picture......

Were those times real or a dream,
Did I really live them or did i imagine those fields,
I think i might have been crazy.....that time with you an illusion,
But then there is this picture, And it seems so real.....

Who are you? Where did you come from?
Why were you here? Why did u meet me?
Why did we spend time together? Why did we lie in each others arms under the sun?
If you were going to disappear? And all i have left is this picture.....

All i have left is a picture,
A picture is all i have,
A picture of her in my mind,
It wont leave me alone, It won't go away........

A picture of you in my arms,
A picture of you with me,
A picture of the queen of my Dreams,
The world thinks I'm crazy, but i know this picture is real....

Everywhere i look i see this picture,
A picture of you with me,
In this existence it's all i have left,
My life dedicated to a picture, A picture of you with me.....


- Aiman
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Jabse yeh Gaana....Mene din ko.......Sunaa re.......

Saawariya.......Oh ho oho.....
Saawariya.......Oh ho Oho.....
Saaaaaaawwaaaaaariyaaaaaa............


*Sigh*
Yes....
Now that the requisite groan at the start of every blog entry is out of the way.....
Though the groan might be caused by the horrifying music.....
Lets get down to business......


First up is change.....
No....Not the coins as in South Park Night of living Homeless....
Though if you do come across some change then....
"Change?"
..................................................................................................
*Ahem*
Yes...Back on track then.....
I remember myself a few months back.....
Lets make it about 6 months shall we........
There was once a time i ran from the limelight....
Where i was happier out of the attention....Didn't give a fig about politics or power......
(lol....Anyone who's been to high school will know what i'm talking about)
I was happy with my few friends.......No work!!!
And my heavenly headbanging collection of music.....

But now....
*Sigh*
Here I am Mr.Popular (not to blow my own horn....But yeah....)
Everyone knows me.....Everyone wants me to be with them.....
I'm considered the smartest guy in my batch.....
Which i might be......But....
Lol...
I mean....
They expect me to top????
I mean.... I don't study!!!
Hell....I never have......
And me top???
Sheesh!!!

Got so much responsibility....
But this all wouldn't be such a problem on its own.....


But coupled with the fact that well.....
It's all so different.....

Change...

Sigh...

From Hard Rock to Bollywood Pop...
I kid u not......I got a 2gb collection to argue with you....
This change in music may not be that important to some....
But to me..

Well yeah...
Its wat keeps me sane....Cools me down......
AND NOW...
It just seems so weird....

But u know....
u can't change them....
So u gotta join them.....
Plus chicks tend to dig a guy with 170 songs on his....
And well....
If 80 of those are Hindi.....
Nevermind......
In Rome... Do as the Romans do......
(Thats is if you want to do the Romans too...... ;) if u know at i mean......)

Well anyways....
I dunno wat else to whine about....
Lets headbang i guesss....
Chow....


Teri Aankhen Bhool Bhulaiya...
Bateen hai Bhool Bhulaiya.....
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